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The floorplan to my head and heart. [entries|friends|calendar]
š.ÿ

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[29 Oct 2016|07:18am]
Chasing a dream image of you.

Two fleeting moments
Each playing on loop till infinity
White on green
Still such regal beauty
Taking my breath away

In truth we are now strangers
Our lives never intercepting
How did it come to this?
When we both felt so strongly then
Ok maybe it was just me

If fleeting dream moments are the only time I can catch you, so be it.

IMU.

Maybe next time I will have the courage to open my mouth in my dreams.
Rock?

On repeat. [04 Jan 2016|08:59pm]
I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all

Day 1,2,3,4.
Rock?

[28 Dec 2015|01:51am]
No one seems to be able to understand. Why do I feel like an alien?
Rock?

[18 Feb 2015|07:57pm]
I know
That we were made to break
So what? I don't mind.

This resonates so true. I can't help but feel emo :/

I'm beginning to hate the festive season. Fuck expectations. Fuck taking people for granted. I just want to curl up in bed and not be bothered.
Rock?

[29 Jan 2015|12:05am]
But stand still is all I did.
Rock?

[26 Dec 2014|11:26pm]
Why does it hurt so much?

Because it was real.
Rock?

[07 Sep 2014|11:21pm]
I felt a tinge of sadness. Just a moment, a lapse, a period in which I let myself sink.

And then I pulled myself back.

And I thought about the happy moments. And a smile escaped my lips.
Rock?

[03 Aug 2014|01:40am]
Tell you all my memories and you will tell me yours
The colors of my favorite trees before the winter's war
The reasons you and me should talk about the great unknown
Without the distance in between and all the obstacles we've known
The things we know we just don't know
The things we know we don't know

Nobody knows how loud your heart gets
'Cause we're a million miles away but I still hear you
And I'm going, going, going, going to get you


Lucius is awesome. I had their song playing for most of the 14 hours of my flight. Is that a bit too obsessive? 
Rock?

Why do I take this lonely road nobody to walk with me? [17 Jul 2014|08:04pm]
I feel like the universe is off balance. A recurring sadness, a recurring thought. It lingers, and its causing all these anxiety.

I'm supposed to enjoy the travelling, but in the current situation (or lack thereof), its really hard to enjoy the going away part. I always pictured myself to settle somewhere other than Singapore. It has been a dream of mine throughout these years. I thought with the constant being away, I would at least feel close to achieving that. But its not. I feel sad every time I have to leave. Its like being in preparation of the emptiness I'm probably going to feel.

I don't like the fact that plans can't be made. Not one bit. What if there is nothing more to look forward to? Does it die? Does this cease to exist?

I don't know anymore.
Rock?

[05 Jul 2014|04:23pm]
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Rock?

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